Merry Monday: Still a Guy

This past weekend my dad and I attended Jeeptoberfest, which is an annual event in Central Florida and has been taking place for 15 years now.

There were over 1,027 Jeeps that entered the Jeep show. And with their entrance fee they could choose 1 of 3 obstacle courses to drive and prove their Jeepliness (Angie’s made up word).

Here are a few pictures of Jeeps being Jeeps at the event.

Photo Credit: 4LowPhoto.com

This is what I’d like to do to my Jeep Grand Cherokee!

Thank God for Jeep Snorkels!

Photo Credit: 4lowphoto.com

Maybe if I take my passenger door off, my jeep can go up and down concrete stairs??

Photo Credit: 4lowphoto.com

Even Jeeps love a good mud bath!

Photo Credit: 4lowphoto.com

Hey, how did he not get mud in the doors?

Photo Credit: 4lowphoto.com

What’s wrong with this picture? Tire missing!!

Photo Credit: 4lowphoto.com

Funny part of this post

So the funny part of this post is that while I was sitting there watching Jeeps go through the obstacle courses I heard a song that made me chuckle. I have to admit that even though I was raised in the south, and have good ol’ country roots, I don’t really listen to country music very often. So it was the first time I heard this song that has been out for a few years, called “I’m still a guy” by Brad Paisley.

If you haven’t heard it before and want a good laugh, check out the song here: “I’m Still a Guy.”

And here are the lyrics:

“I’m Still A Guy”

When you see a deer you see Bambi
And I see antlers up on the wall
When you see a lake you think picnic

And I see a large mouth up under that log
You’re probably thinking that you’re going to change me
In some ways well maybe you might
Scrub me down, dress me up but no matter what
I’m still a guy

When you see a priceless French painting
I see a drunk, naked girl
You think that riding a wild bull sounds crazy
And I’d like to give it a whirl
Well love makes a man do some things he ain’t proud of
And in a weak moment I might walk your sissy dog, hold your purse at the mall
But remember, I’m still a guy

I’ll pour out my heart
Hold your hand in the car
Write a love song that makes you cry
Then turn right around knock some jerk to the ground
‘Cause he copped a feel as you walked by

I can hear you now talking to your friends
Saying, “Yeah girls he’s come a long way”
From dragging his knuckles and carrying a club

And building a fire in a cave
But when you say a backrub means only a backrub
Then you swat my hand when I try
Well, what can I say at the end of the day
Honey, I’m still a guy

I’ll pour out my heart
Hold your hand in the car
Write a love song that makes you cry
Then turn right around knock some jerk to the ground
‘Cause he copped a feel as you walked by

These days there’s dudes getting facials
Manicured, waxed and botoxed
With deep spray-on tans and creamy lotiony hands
You can’t grip a tackle box

With all of these men lining up to get neutered
It’s hip now to be feminized
I don’t highlight my hair
I’ve still got a pair
Yeah honey, I’m still a guy

Oh my eyebrows ain’t plucked
There’s a gun in my truck
Oh thank God, I’m still a guy

Merry Monday: Mother Follow Up

After I posted last week’s post, I read it to my mother (here’s the post in case you missed it).

She laughed of course.

Then later in the week while we were having a conversation about some people that she has recently had confrontation with, she said “Now Angie you can’t blog about this.”

So I informed her that any of our conversations are potential blogs. But that this one time I would give her a pardon.

I will say this–without revealing her confidential information–someone looked at her purse.

Now if you read last week’s post, you will understand that she does not do well with people who do not respect the purse. She did not do anything to this person that would cause her to be in trouble but she did address the situation.

I can guarantee that if my mother had TV cameras following her, she would cause more buzz than Honey Boo Boo and her mama June.

But I doubt my mother would ever agree to that type of fame. So we will just have to settle on discussing the funny things my mom does on this forum.

What does your mom or dad do that they wouldn’t want to share publicly?

Merry Monday: Life Rules of My Mother

Today I’m sharing some funny things about my mom. She is a one-of-a-kind, loving, giving, southern, christian woman! Full of life, fun, and loves to sing all the time, but she will also tell you off in a hot second. She is the true definition of a spit fire.

Most people will not come into contact with that side of her. In her words “I’ll be good as long as you let me.”

Some of the stories I am going to share today seem a little far fetched or unbelievable but I can guarantee this is 100% true!

Here she is:

Mrs. Minnie at Huntington Beach, CA

Life Rules of MY Mother

1. Don’t have your cell phone or any electronic device out or near her when she is holding her credit or debit card.

She once snatched a random girl’s phone out of her hand to check and make sure she wasn’t trying to steal her personal information by taking a photo of her card.

My Advice: Don’t stand too close to her and you’ll be safe.

2. The only relationship you can have with her purse is if you hand it to her–but only at her request. No one is permitted to open the purse, look in the purse and definitely not touch any of the purse contents. And the purse goes wherever she is.

Because of this rule, I have not ever looked inside her purse and I refrain from getting anything out of other people’s purses, even if they tell me to. My sister has also developed this level of purse respect in her own home as her husband knows not touch her purse. Also, she will not go to bed without her purse being in the room with her.

3. Dress code is strictly enforced in my mother’s presence. Modesty is her policy. No short shorts, skirts, dresses. No low cut shirts, skirts, dresses.

 This is no lie. A few months ago I visited my parents and my mother asked if she could show me something and took me in the bathroom. She asked me to put on an under the shirt mock cami that hooks to your bra, and provides extra coverage. No lie. To my defense my shirt was not low cut, but when I was sitting down and she was standing behind me, she could see down my shirt. Apparently even I have not learned this rule yet.

When I looked up what the exact product was called, I found this must be a serious problem because when I googled “cleavage covering under the shirt,” there were 13.7 million results. HELLO!

If you feel you should carry this item with you as you are a dress code enforcer, it’s called: Cami Secret and they are available at local retailers, including Toys R Us!

This is what it looks like:

Cami Secret / Boobie Cover

4. Be polite and greet all people you come into contact with. But be suspicious of ulterior motives if they reciprocate and are “too nice.”

She is really sweet, but she has a natural distrust of strangers. This does not stop her from striking up conversation with people she doesn’t know in stores or restaurants though. I do have examples, but I don’t want anyone reading this to think it’s about them.

5. Don’t waste her time. But it’s okay for her to waste your time.

If I call her and she’s busy, I’m not surprised if she abruptly disconnects the call. However if she calls me–even when I’m at work, she expects me to drop what I’m doing. If I’m working and tell her I’m busy, she will oblige with a return call, but if I’m at home and I say “Mom, someone’s calling me, can I call you back?” She will talk until the other line stops ringing. I believe she feels that birthing me, raising me and paying all my expenses while growing up and giving gifts is enough to give her the ultimate priority. And she’s not wrong! 

6. Read your bible and pray several times a day—for everyone you know—everyday. And spend a lot of time developing your spiritual growth.

She watches a lot of christian TV and anytime she sees a program with information that she feels will help me, she will call and advise me to watch the program. She says “I know you are an internet whiz and can find this online.” She has also been known to make us watch a TV program when she comes over to visit. And she also DVR’s certain things for us to watch when we go to her house.

7. Absolutely no cussing.

She always says she heard enough profanity from her father to last her a lifetime. If a coworker curses a lot in her presence she will “walk off and leave them talking.” This also limits the movies she watches; mostly no rated R movies. And if she’s fit to be tied and wants to use a harsh word she will say “excuse me” and then proceed to cuss by saying “What in the hell?” I am pretty sure that “hell” is the worst word I have ever heard her say! Words that are commonly used and not considered curse words by most yet she frowns on using: bastard, bass-ackwards, and pissed off. “Crap” however is an acceptable expletive.

If you want to hear me talk about her more, earlier this year I shared some funny stories in my church’s women’s group.

Here’s the link to the video: Tickled Pink Event

I will be sure to share some more Mrs. Minnie stories in the future. She is an unlimited wealth of humor!

What do your parents do that are natural to them but funny to others?

Merry Monday: Funny video clip

I do not think drug/alcohol abuse or addiction is funny.

But I do think it’s funny when someone in a movie accidentally ingests the drug Ecstasy and behaves a little strange.

Here is an example from one of my favorite movies!

**Disclaimer: this movie is rated R for adult themes and profanity.

Martin Lawrence & Will Smith’s characters are police officers and Martin has just accidentally taken the drug. This scene picks up where they are going to their boss’s house to show them proof that someone is a big time drug lord.

Ecstasy Scene from Bad Boys II

Laughing is good for your soul!

~Angie

Merry Monday: I always laugh

This weekend I watched 2 really funny movies.

I finally watched “Horrible Bosses” which was hilarious! I don’t know why I like him so much but I really enjoy Jason Bateman’s characters when he’s being funny/sarcastic/silly. Some other movies where I like his character are “The Change-Up,” “Couples Retreat” and “Hancock.”

The only time I HATED Jason Bateman was when he played Chip Sanders in “The Ex.” I seriously wanted to strangle him!

The other funny movie I watched this weekend was Bruce Almighty. My mom always says I’m the female version of Jim Carrey. And even when we started watching it, my roommate Brandi said I’m just like him.

I always wonder why my mom and now Brandi think I have so much in common with Jim Carrey, and then I remember this pic from a few years ago, and yeah, now I see the comparison!

Me & Fire Marshall Bill (Jim Carrey)

Today I’d like to share one of my favorite funny moments of all time, which is from Bruce Almighty.

Click on the link here: Bruce Almighty Excerpt

Hope you have a Merry Monday and that you enjoy the rest of your week. Remember, LAUGHTER is the best medicine!

~Angie

Merry Monday: Is the hot tea hot or cold?

Sometimes when I watch Saturday Night Live, I miss Will Ferrell. He is one of my favorite comedians / actors and he brought a LOT to that show!

I’m sharing one of my all time fave skits. I refer to this with my sister, mom and anyone else who will listen!

Check out this video and if you only have one minute, skip to minute 3:34 as that is the most hilarious part! Even if you’re not a fan of Will F. this clip is still funny, so just watch it.

Disclaimer: If I had to give this a movie rating it would be PG-13.

SNL: Celebrity Jeopardy

Hope this makes your Monday Merry like it did for me!

~Angie