We all handle emotional pain in different ways. If you get to know someone really well, you will find out what past situations and pain have most impacted their life.
I’ve noticed that there are three groups people fall into when it comes to emotional pain.
Some people seem to be very resilient. They overcome each obstacle with little to no down time. They seem so positive and upbeat, that when you get to know they have had difficulties in their past, it may seem unbelievable that they can get out of bed each morning. Somehow, they find strength each day and they can truly see the silver lining in the cloud. Maybe through therapy, talking with a close confidant, a religious experience, or sheer will power, they have been able to move on.
There are also people walking all around us with gaping emotional wounds from their past. There are probably people you can think of right away who fit that description. They are bitter, resentful and constantly angry. They are nasty to other people. They cut people down without any remorse. They are aggressive or super shy or both. They attack before they can be attacked. They always, always, always have a chip on their shoulder and think everyone is out to get them. If you’ve been around people like this, you will relate. The truth is this type of person is really just someone with deep emotional wounds.
The third group probably includes the majority of us. These are also people who were hurt and damaged by their past. They want people to think they’re okay. But inside they feel like they’re dying or falling apart. They may appear to be fine but they are not. They may even seem positive sometimes, but their internal battle pushes them to the edge each day. They long to be rescued from the pain of their past and they want people to think they’re doing well and have overcome.
Next week I will continue on this thought and share which group I would fall into. If you are a brave soul, feel free to share in the comments which group you identify with most.
I leave you with a quote from an inspiring woman who recently began hosting a program on Oprah’s network called “Iyanla: Fix my life.”
“You can accept or reject the way you are treated by other people, but until you heal the wounds of your past, you will continue to bleed. You can bandage the bleeding with food, with alcohol, with drugs, with work, with cigarettes, with sex, but eventually, it will all ooze through and stain your life. You must find the strength to open the wounds, stick your hands inside, pull out the core of the pain that is holding you in your past, the memories, and make peace with them.” —Iyanla Vanzant